Dear Annie: My mother is approaching 80, and after raising three of us, she is in declining health. My brother and sister live near Mom, but I couldn't handle big-city life, so after I married, we moved to my wife's hometown. I don't drive, so visiting my family always means relying on my wife, and she is perpetually late. And the drive there involves much shouting, as she blames me for our "being tardy." She also controls the checking account and gives me a small allowance and a low-limit credit card, and I don't have the authority to call to check the balance or raise the limit.